3...2...1...Done!!!

I'm done! I'm done! I'm done! 😁

Mom and I have completed our first (and only) Whole30. I waited until 12:10am last night and then made half a quesadilla because I could and as a "screw you" to no dairy. It was amazingly simple, delicious and completely satisfying. 

In fairness to the friend who talked me into doing a Whole30 (and who I've decided not to disown), my constitution is such that I wasn't likely to benefit much from only abstaining from certain things for 30 days. 

Some thoughts now that I'm done... 

Pros: 

• Simplicity
  You can't eat grains, dairy, legumes, alcohol or added sugar. Everything else, have at it. Eat all the fruits, vegetables, herbs and meat you want! No calorie counting. Don't worry too much about carbs (though you have to be careful not to eat potatoes with every meal, lol). You just can't eat foods that fall into those 5 categories and you're golden. 
• Stomach shrunk
  I'm definitely eating less. My seething rage (see cons below) caused me to eat less.
• Minimal amount of weight loss and decrease in inflammation 
  This actually makes both lists. I did lose a little weight (maybe 5-8 lbs?), just enough to feel a slight difference in how things fit.
• Recipes
  We found some compliant recipes that I'm sure we'll keep making post-Whole30. 
  - Change Your Life Chicken: Notes - This is thanks to Katie P-A. She passed this recipe along when she talked me into doing Whole30. If nothing else, it's worth reading because whoever wrote the recipe is funny, but it's also easy and delicious. When we made it we used zucchini, yellow squash, quartered potatoes and then added a quartered onion to the baking sheet (don't put them in the Ziplock bag with the other veggies to coat in olive oil and salt). Brush olive oil & sprinkling lemon pepper on the onion once it's on the pan.  
  - Chimichurri Flank Steak: Notes - we made this with a couple kinds of steak (ie. doesn't have to be flank steak). If you don't have a food processor, you can use a immersion blender. DO NOT USE a cup of oil. It's waaaay too much. Half a cup is more than sufficient. 
  - Whole30 Fish Taco Bowls with Mango Salsa, Chipotle Aioli, Coconut-Lime Cauliflower Rice: Notes - We used coconut lime chicken one time, which was ok and Crockpot Carnitas, which was amazing (it gets its own entry below). I did use canned tuna with leftovers a couple times. We kept making the Guac, both for bowls and to eat separately. We didn't have any adobo sauce or chipotle peppers for the Chipotle Aioli, so I used a couple shakes of chili powder instead. Since we bought the cauliflower rice (it's really not worth making it yourself), I used one can of coconut milk per bag. If we had some coconut cream open, I might add a little of that for extra flavor. We never tried making the red cabbage slaw, because cabbage.
  - Crockpot Carnitas from Pork Tenderloin: Notes - Delicious. So good. Do yourself a favor and make them. When you do, use two oranges instead of one. (We left out the jalapenos)
  - Easy Homemade Breakfast Sausage: Notes - careful, mom kind of got addicted to these. Also, she used 1.5x the herbs (thyme, rosemary, sage, marjoram and nutmeg) and left out cayenne pepper and maple seasoning. 
  - Whole30 Garlic Mayo and Ranch: Mom plans to keep using these, while I plan to eat normal mayo like a normal person. 😁 Note: Double the garlic in the mayo (if you like garlic) and add other things to taste in the ranch. I think I added a dash of garlic and onion powder. Maybe some lemon pepper? A little chili powder one time to add a kick. Whatever sounds good in ranch, go for it. 

Cons

• Seething rage
  So...I have a dysfunctional relationship with food. I'm willing to admit that. Not being able to eat the foods I actually like made me angry. Not hangry, but angry. When I was done with a meal, I was not satisfied, even though I was full (fulfilled needs), because it hadn't fulfilled my wants. I felt like something out of Hamilton after every meal. There's an emotional component to food, which was lacking for 30 days. Well, maybe 28. I remember at some point during the second half noticing I was angry again and realized I'd gone about 2 days without feeling wrathful. 👿   Here's a super nerd way to explain it - Bruce Banner has become my spirit animal and during Whole30 the Hulk was driving the bus way more often than Banner. 
• Everything takes so freaking long to make!
  Making mayo takes like, a half an hour. Dinner, unless it was leftovers, took between an hour and a half to two hours to make. Every...freakin'...night. Lunch was an ordeal unless I was just eating an Rx bar and two tangerines (3, if they were really small), which is what I ate at work. I ate more tuna the last 30 days than I've eaten the rest of the year (or two!), because it was something I could put together quickly. Gah! 😳
• Minimal amount of weight loss and decrease in inflammation
  After going gluten-free for four or five months, I definitely felt better. It took about two-three months to notice a difference, but not eating glutenous breads, pastas, etc definitely decreased inflammation and bloating. This time, not so much. I figured going into this that 30 days wouldn't be enough to feel a difference (I was right!)...and the amount of weight loss and slightly decreased inflammation was insufficient to make up for the amount of restraint and work required. 

To celebrate making it 30 days without yummy deliciousness, we had brunch at Waffleopolis, a new breakfast place that's part of the Sebastian's Table, Eleanora, Honest Abe's family of restaurants. I'd say they're still working out the kinks (they've only been open about a month?), but overall it was worth trying and somewhere I think will improve over time. 

The Full Monte

The One with Pork Belly

With a few exceptions in the coming week and while I'm on vacation, mom and I are going to try doing Whole30 + dairy, legumes and alcohol (yay booze!!!), with the intent to stay away from grains and sugar. The last two are the greatest offenders when it comes to waistlines, which is dumb because they're delicious. 

~ Katie Q. 🐧

New season, new mask! 🧡🍂