Well, that was fun...

On a whim, I decided to join Match.com. I was on Catholic Match for 6 months back in 2006 (I bought it for myself as a 21st birthday present). Clearly I didn't find the love of my life, but I have stayed friends with three guys I met on there. I don't see that happening this round, partly because I only lasted a month and partly because the sheer number of people using it is intimidating...not to mention how many weirdos are on the site. 

I'd thought about joining before and had put it off for many reasons - I wanted to have moved into my own place first, be in better shape, etc, etc - and finally decided, what the heck? There's always going to be a reason not to do it...

Here are some general thoughts/observations:

• People lack creativity, which helps the more thorough profiles stand out. 
• I stopped feeling badly about not responding to messages by the second week. (See above for most of the reasons why)
• I did respond to two messages - the first was a nice message from a fella asking how important religious affiliation was to me, since I'd commented on it under the religion section. He was listed as "spiritual, not religious," so that didn't go anywhere...though I did appreciate the inquiry. The second was from a guy up in Omaha. I'd looked at his profile earlier that day and found him interesting. He asked how my night was going. I said "I'm doing well. How are things up in Omaha?" His reply was less than engaging. "I would say not bad but I haven't been out today so I can tell you much tonight." Uh huh. I didn't reply and he hasn't messaged again. Guess it wasn't meant to be.  
• I clicked "skip" as soon as I saw: works out daily, runs daily, life coach (there was more than one!), atheist, "active and ambitious and looking for a woman who feels the same", "works hard and plays harder!", doesn't like downtime/always has to have something planned, doesn't want kids, loves cats or had cats in their profile pics (I like to breathe, thanks!).
• An amazing number of profiles only contained 1 or 2 sentences. That tells me nothing about you. Skip.
• I liked the profiles that talked about the person and didn't include a lot (or even much) about what they were looking for in a partner. Oddly enough, that was usually a big turn off. It made the profile feel like a job posting, instead of something personal. I don't know...could just be me. 

Here are some stellar examples of what's out there:

I can tell you what's NOT exciting...your hat. Skip.

Is there a reason why you have a vent in the background? 
Or that you're taking this pic at the worst possible angle? 
Nope? Ok. 

Tyler...buddy. You look like a Russian mobster. A shirtless one at that. So much nope. 

I know everyone will have their own opinion on what people should or shouldn't include in a profile, but here are some things that jumped out at me: 

Do: 

- Write at least a paragraph about yourself. Two or three is preferable. 
- Have at least 3 photos. Pictures with a puppy are always encouraged.

- Include some likes...dislikes are good too. Makes your profile more relatable. 
- Do use your real first name as your user name. While it may seem minor, it makes you feel more like a real person and definitely increases the chance I'll click on your profile. 

- Talk about your family. Do they live nearby? If you spend time with nieces or nephews, that's a heartwarming tidbit to include. 
- Update your profile. If you're listed as 30, but in your profile it says you're 25, it screams "I've been on here forever!" and/or "I pay no attention to detail!"  

Don't: 

-  Include something like this gem - "Note: If you share personality and appearance to Anna Kendrick please just marry me now lol!"

- Include pics with just you and a beer bottle, shirtless, hanging from a stripper pole in a party bus, with another woman without stating it's your sister/mother/friend...or with a blow-up doll. Yes, I ran across all those things.
- Pick stupid user names like CrazyWtBoy, Mucho, DevilRoot2000, Perplexme1, Rebel_Rouser8, Whatever1856, Amorousman, Lovehurts812, giantsteps44, No1goodolboy (really?), Aabbcc...or anything Husker related. 
- Don't send auto-generated intro messages, such as "Looks like we both like dining out. What's the best restaurant you've tried recently?" I got two of those. 
- Include misspellings, poor grammar and/or incomplete sentences such as "just looking for fun woman to spend time with", "I'd like a women who is comfortable with themselves", "Hello there, my naked is Kris. How are you doing?" or "Hi how's it goin".

I got to break out the whatapineapple! 

It took me a while to write my profile. It's hard to talk about yourself, so I get the temptation to keep it very brief. After a quick Google search I found a couple sites with tips for profile writing and one of them suggested starting things off with a quote. I thought, why not? It's different, gives you a snapshot of who I am and what I think is important. Here goes nothing. 

In My Own Words: 

Denver Botanical Gardens in the fall.

"A room without books is like a body without a soul." -G.K. Chesterton I'm a introvert with a good sense of humor. My library of new and used books is constantly growing. I Iove mountains and concerts...and am looking for someone to enjoy them with me. I'm a California transplant to Nebraska. My family moved to Lincoln my freshman year of high school. When I graduated from Benedictine College, I moved back to Lincoln and have been here ever since. Traveling means the world to me (pun intended). I make it to Colorado at least once a year. It's one of my favorite places to visit, since there are plenty of things I love doing (walking through the Denver Botanical Gardens or the Garden of the Gods, attending concerts at Red Rocks and the Pepsi Center), as well as new things to discover. Last September I was able to visit Ireland, which was amazing. The countryside was gorgeous and the people so kind. I'm a quarter Irish, which also made it personally special. I am an amateur photographer, having fallen in love with photography after taking a black and white photography class in college. I started a small photography company and opened an Etsy shop in 2014. While normally not a "crowds" person, I enjoy the energy and excitement of attending live music. It's also an excuse to travel - I've attended concerts in Denver, Kansas City, Chicago and NYC. I also go to plays whenever possible...I went to five in 2017, including Waitress, Into the Woods and Cinderella. I am very much an introvert and a bit of a homebody. I'm a thoughtful, quiet person, though am more talkative when around close family and friends. I enjoy doing things in small groups - going to concerts, art museums, movies and out to eat. People watching is also great, either alone or with others. The stories we concoct are always entertaining. The bane of my existence are spiders and early mornings. Bacon makes everything better. 

⧫⧫⧫

Political Views: Conservative
Sign: I don't believe in astrology
Favorite Hot Spots: Scooters, Hiro88, Piezano's Pizza, Starbucks, Leadbelly's, Blue Blood Brewery, Paneras and HuHot.
College: Benedictine, Atchison KS
Favorite Things: - Music: Josh Groban, The Script, Imagine Dragons - TV shows: Supernatural, Doctor Who, How I Met Your Mother, Brooklyn 99
- Movies: The Dark Knight, While You Were Sleeping, 30 Days of Night
- Books: Jane Eyre, Picture of Dorian Gray, Dark Matter
For Fun: Attending concerts and plays, spending time with friends, reading, wandering through museums, going to movies.
Last Read: 1984 by George Orwell 
Ethnicity: Caucasian/Latino ("I'm half Mexican, a quarter Irish and a quarter Italian.")
Faith: Christian/Catholic ("I am a lifelong Catholic and my faith is very important to me")

There are the photos I included:

The Long Library at Trinity College, Dublin, Ireland.

Garden of the Gods, Colorado

Nelson-Atkin Museum of Art in KC! 

Loveland Pass, Colorado 

Kansas City with friends for The Fray and David Cook concert!

***

I'm not made for online dating. I already knew this, but it's good to be reminded from time to time. While fairly personable, I'm cautious and reserved about "real things," particularly when dealing with new people. I'm not very trusting - well, on unimportant things I am, until you give me a reason not to be. But for personal things, it takes me a long time to feel comfortable and warm up to people. 

The mask of the internet only amplifies my concerns. The necessary anonymity makes me uncomfortable. Especially when there's only one photo - is that really them? Or is it some a 50 year old hairy dude using a Stutterstock photo of a 30 year old? How many other people did they send "I see we both like eating out" messages to that night? Or in the last week? I ran across a friend's profile and sent them a message, playfully calling them out on a blatant lie (anyone who knows him would call the bullest of sh*t 😆). It was a relatively unimportant thing, but what about every other profile? What are they lying about, in hopes of connecting with someone who would have otherwise skipped their profile? 

Real life isn't much better...but there is the human connection. Sure, people can lie to you IRL, but you have tone of voice and facial expressions/body language to assist in how violently your BS o' meter is going off. 

One advantage to the internet is how much information you can find in a few clicks. I should have a Masters in Internet Research. It's amazing what interesting tidbits I've run across over the years, from divorce proclamations, wedding photos to friends/family's public posts on Facebook or other social media sites. I'm not even talking about deep diving here...just a few clicks and there's an article about how he was found guilty of using excessive force against an 80 year old woman. Good to know...   

Skip. (click) 

It's also hard to nearly impossible to ascertain whether the other person is what you need until you really start getting to know them. Technology makes it even harder. It's so easy to be superficial or insincere when you're just typing on a keyboard. When you actually talk to them and spend time together, that's when you figure those things out. And that's something I've learned over the years...what I need. When you're young, tall, dark and handsome sounds perfect. As an adult, you think about more important things. Thoughtfulness, kindness, inner strength...those are the things that really matter. I was talking to a friend and said I need someone who can take care of me. They looked at me funny, which is understandable. I didn't mean financially...though being independently wealthy sure isn't a deal breaker. 😄 I meant emotionally. I need someone I can trust. Someone who has my back. Someone I can count on. Someone to take care of me. Because I will be there to take care of them.

With the limitations of technology, I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure. 

And I don't like failure.

So, that was fun. But I'm done. 

~ Katie Q.

There IS a Doctor Who meme for everything! :D