Right is not the same as Perfect...

Disclaimer 1: This is officially going to be a rant.

Disclaimer 2: I am mostly unqualified to rant on this general topic, other than being human, a woman and a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic. I am not married...hell, I'm not even in a relationship...but clearly that isn't stopping me from being annoyed by something another blogger had every right to spew into cyberspace.

Alright...here it goes. Consider yourself warned.

Last night I noticed someone posted a link on Facebook to an article called "How I know my wife married the 'wrong' person." And I thought...huh?...and then made the mistake of reading the post, which ended up annoying me enough to result in this rant.

To be fair, the person writing the blog makes some interesting points. It took me a bit to wading through the article to determine what he meant by "wrong." And I admit he does a good job of explaing it (ie. in a humorous manner). The short version is this: hollywood tries to sell us on the idea that we need to find a perfect person, our “smoking-hot, high-class, filthy rich, love-at-first-sight, sexually compatible, accept-me-as-I-am, Titanic-Notebook-Sweet-Home-Alabama-Twilight-esque, soul mate.” See? Funny! :)  

Anyway...the jist of his post was that this person doesn't exist (agreed) and that you marry the "wrong" person because they will never fit this "right" description. This is where I start to disagree with him...

I believe there is a big distinction between "right" and "perfect."

I think the hollywood definition that he ascribes to being the "right person" is arguably a better description of a "perfect person," which you will never find. If you are on the look out for someone who fits that bill, you're going to be disappointed.

Sorry folks...we're human, which means we're imperfect and deeply flawed. You're not going to find and be swept away by Adonis. Personally, I wouldn't want to. Consider your in laws and extended family! Why would you want to get sucked into the craziness that were the Greek gods?! Sorry...sidetrack.

Obviously I don't buy into the idea of finding your "perfect person."  I do, however, believe that if you are called to the married life, there is a right person for you. A soul mate that God chose for you when He saw your ideal storyline (which due to free will might not quite work out according to plan, but that's another story) and who will not only help you enjoy happiness on earth, but help you reach heaven as well.

Right doesn't mean this other person will never disappoint or hurt you. It doesn't mean they will be flawless and never fail you. They will. They will forget your birthday or to empty the trash. They will say something stupid that hurts your feelings and make endless mistakes.

They're only human. But so are you.

A soul mate is a flawed person, just like you. But they are the person whose flaws you can not only deal with, but possibly compliment your own. You are going to make mistakes together, but they are the best person for you with whom to figure out those problems and to work with to find a solution. They are your balance...they are your partner in trying to cope with our broken humanity. They will be the right person to take on the world with, to deal with the trials and tribulations what will inevitably overtake you.

I believe there is a right person for you to spend the next 50-70 years with, should you be lucky enough to be married that long. It will be an uphill battle, full of work, sweat and tears...but also love, happiness and joy.

The right person will be far from perfect...but they will be the best person with whom to spend the rest of your life.

So yeah...there's my two cents on the subject.

Personally I'm still on the lookout for my right person. Some days I feel like someone tipped him off about some of my particular flaws and scared him away! I figure he will have to be one courageous person to be willing to deal with me and my family (hi mom!), but hey...at least I can honestly say we're definitely more functional than the Greek gods, so that's got to count for something, right?  :) 



~ Katie