Movie Review: Noah

"Uh...huh. I...hmm."

That was basically my reaction leaving the theater last Friday after watching Noah.

I decided to go opening night, even though I expected it to be a poor retelling of the Noah's Ark story, but it was different, worse and weirder than I was anticipating. 

If you haven't seen it, I'd suggest skipping it...or at least waiting until it comes out on DVD to rent it...unless you're looking for an excuse to check out the new DreamLounger leather recliners in theater 1 at the Grand. :)  That was my main motivation to see Noah opening night. Well, that and Russell Crowe. And Jennifer Connelly. And Emma Watson. And Logan Lerman. (I just realized this is the second movie he's made with Russell Crowe...the other one was 3:10 to Yuma.) Huh...and apparently Nick Nolte voiced one of the fallen angels (Samyaza)...and was born in Omaha, NE. The things you learn on IMDB.  

Anywho...on to the movie. Warning: spoilers scattered throughout, so if you haven't seen the move and are planning to, proceed with caution. Or don't proceed. It's entirely up to you.

 

Honestly, there wasn't a whole lot to like about Noah, other than some sweeping landscapes and pretty good acting.  The roles themselves mostly stunk - Noah was kind of a massive jerkface - but the actors all played their roles well. The only real similarities to the Genesis' Noah's Ark and this are the names of the main characters (Noah, his sons - Shem, Ham and Japheth - and the Ark itself)...oh, and massive flooding. That's pretty much it.  

 

For simple things that weren't great, I thought it was very "environmentally friendly," in a bad way. Animals good, humans bad. Bad humans! :)  It was done in such an obvious way  - for example, Noah saying animals were the "innocent" God wanted saved - that it didn't really feel like propaganda, since they were pretty much handing it to you and not trying to be super subtle about it. The whole Noah threatening to kill his grandchildren thing was really weird and very disjointed and didn't seem to fit in the movie...I mean, he'd kind of been a jerk the whole time, but this was a stretch even for him. 

 

Aside from the connection to Gnosticism (see the article linked below for context), I didn't mind the glowy and translucent Adam & Eve, since it allowed them to be naked and kept it from being sketchy. That whole part of the movie looks very CGI and kind of book-ish, for lack of a better word, so their not looking real seemed to fit as opposed to them making a point that Adam & Eve were body-less...to the non-PhD viewer anyway. 

 

The fallen angel, molten rocky things were just weird too and didn't make a whole lot of sense. They did add to the "magic" feel of the movie, which "helped" since it made it feel less Biblical and reminded you that were you watching a very secular take on a very traditional story...like if Robin Hood had magic arrows that couldn't miss or Lewis and Clark had a pet dragon with them on their westward trek. This is very much Darren Aronofsky's Noah, not The Book of Genesis Noah's Ark.

 

Overall it was...not good. It had some interesting moments, but that was it. I don't expect it to make a ton of money...I haven't checked the box office results yet, but I don't see a lot of people going to see it a second or third time. I posted on Facebook that the best thing about going to see Noah (outside getting to check out a newly renovated theater in town) was that it got me to look up and reread the original story in Genesis (starts in Chapter 6, in case you're wondering). :)

 

That's my two cents about it, anyway. :)

If you want someone else's two cents, there are plenty of articles and blog posts about Noah.  I've seen several articles floating around Facebook, including one titled "I'm a Christian and I give Noah 4 stars," but the only one I've read is "Sympathy For the Devil," by Dr. Brian Mattson that my aunt sent me. I would suggest taking the time to read it if you have seen the movie. It is really interesting and brought up a couple things from the movie that I either hadn't thought about or explained the background for this particular "perspective" on the Noah narrative.

So yeah...that's about all I've got.

Enjoy and happy Friday! :)


~ Katie