Post-Valentine Contemplation

Needless to say there were ten million posts (slight exaggeration) last Friday about Valentine's Day. My Facebook newsfeed was littered with everything from "Oh my boyfriend is the best! I love him sooooo much!" kind of crap to a priest friend posting random anti-Valentine things like "15 Reasons why Bacon is better than Love."

One of my friends who is in a relationship posted "Valentine's Day is the worst," which garnered many and immediate responses from people giving him a hard time about it...yes, including me. :) I said "I'm sorry, you're in a relationship so you're not allowed to say that. Period. End of story. x infinity :) :P"  My argument was somewhat invalidated when his girlfriend agreed with him, posting a link to a "Valentine dilemma" picture (which was hilarious). Other people countered this, with my friend ultimately posting "5 problems with Valentine's Day." I thought about these problems for a half a second and quickly deemed them false. Well, they are valid points, but not enough to hate or boycott Valentine's Day...or even just calling it "the worst."  And here's why. 

Most if not all of the reasons stated could easily be interchanged with Christmas or Thanksgiving and provide you with similar arguments....and if you call either of those days "the worst," I may have to hit you. :)

1. The holiday was hijacked to turn a profit.
Christmas shopping costs people hundreds to thousands of dollars every year. You search for just the right gift for your friends and loved ones...or you just grab a gift card. You spend money on wrapping paper and to ship said wrapped presents to your non-local friends and relatives. Commercialism for the Christmas win! :)  Regardless, for the general public this holiday has been hijacked into a completely commercial and basically secular holiday and people don't take the time to celebrate what's actually important or the reason for the holiday's existence in the first place. But you wouldn't say "Christmas is the worst" because of this, would you? Not to mention you could argue that all holidays have been hijacked for profit...Easter, St. Patrick's Day, 4th of July, Halloween (an estimated $6.9 BILLION dollar industry in 2013)...so I would suggest enjoying the ride and participating because you care, not because Hallmark says you should.

 

2. It places romance over other kinds of love.

This one I can kind of give you. But that's not necessarily a bad thing because romance, real romance and not just sex, is very important. Yes, you should show your loved one every day that you care about them and work on a healthy, steady relationship...but setting aside a day to do something extra special with your significant other is good too. You can't go to a fancy restaurant every night or head out on a romantic trip every weekend...so Valentine's is a good, built in "excuse" to do something special.
 

 
3. It’s turned into Singleness Awareness Day.

Many people without family hate Christmas and Thanksgiving because they are such family-centric holidays. People travel from across the country to be with their parents, siblings, in-laws for these two holidays...which is how it should be. But it does make it hard for people who don't have family with whom to share these holidays and can make them feel even more alone than usual. But that doesn't mean Christmas and Thanksgiving should lose their family-orientation because it's non-inclusive. On Valentine's Day, for those of us who are single, it can be pretty crappy...but I use it as an excuse to kidnap a friend and do something fun or special, just like I would if I were alone on Thanksgiving.

4. It makes expressions of love seem reserved for special occasions.

See question #2? :)
It is important to express your love year round, but even a healthy relationship can do with a shaking up every once in a while. In the article that came up with these 5 reasons, it says:
"Couples already have several holidays they’re expected to celebrate in certain ways. On their anniversary, they go out for a fancy dinner. At Christmas, they have mistletoe. At New Year’s Eve, they kiss when the clock strikes midnight. Sometimes it can seem like if they just do the right things on anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s Day and the like, they’re good to go for the rest of the year."
Sure...some people can be like that...but don't be that person! If you're just being affectionate or telling someone you love them on Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day, their birthday and your anniversary, the problems with your relationship are likely much bigger and farther reaching than can be blamed solely on Valentine's Day.

  

5. It glorifies 'emotional porn.' 

Have you seen almost any romance or chick flick ever made? Sure, Valentine's Day can glorify that unrealistic, mushy, head-over-heels, they-can-do-no-wrong, happily-ever-after, fluffy romance you find in movies, but a) you have that thrown at you all year long anyway and b) if your a remotely intelligent individual you understand the difference between love and TV romance...and if you don't, you don't need Valentine's Day to screw up your ideas about romance.  

As always I admit to being a hopeless romantic and so like the idea of Valentine's Day. I like reasons to celebrate, dress up and do something fun...and expect I will greatly enjoy it when it's for a romantic reason instead of just for random events, concerts or because I can. I look forward to the daily ways of expressing my love and affection for my significant other and enjoying special occasions together. Until then I don't see the need to complain or have problems with a day set aside for romance...it's up to the person or people celebrating it to understand its meaning or importance in the grand scheme of their relationships...and to not be stupid and screw things up over it. :)


Enjoy and happy Tuesday!


~ Katie