Realistic Facebook Statuses

I admit to poaching a lot of stuff from HelloGiggles, but they continue posting things worth sharing (expect more to follow in the next couple days)! :)  One "status" I'd add that I've seen on Facebook is (yes, it's a Doctor Who reference...shut up):

- Waiting for a mad man in a blue box

Below is a list of "realistic Facebook statuses" HelloGiggles assembled. Since there are so many, I bolded my favorites so they'll stand out. :)


More Realistic Facebook Relationship Statuses

1. Single And Ready To Mingle (But Not Really Sure What The Word Mingle Means)
2. Just Got Out Of A Relationship (And Am Currently Unable To Function Or Do Anything But Sniffle And Watch Lifetime Movies And Eat Cookies)
3. Just Got Out Of A Relationship (And Am Actually Doing Better Today, Thank You For Asking, In Fact, I Left The House Today And Saw The Sun For The First Time In A Week!)
4. Love Songs Messed Up My Idea Of Love
5. Reality TV Messed Up My Idea Of Love
6. Movies and Hollywood Romance Messed Up My Idea Of Love
7. What Is Love? (Baby, Don’t Hurt Me)
8. All I Ever Talk About Is My Ex And Yes, I Will Find A Way To Bring Them Up, Even In This Completely-Unrelated Conversation We Are Having
9. Perfectly Fine Being Single Until The Holidays Come Around Or I Have To Go To A Wedding
10. “Talking” To A Bunch Of Potential Girls/Boys
11. He or She Would Have To Be Really Amazing For Me To Get Out Of These Sweatpants And Go On A Real Date
12. Not Sure What A Real Date Is
13. In A Relationship But Still In High School, So 99% Of The Time This Relationship Will Not Count Or Matter in Four Years/A Week
14. In A Committed Partnership With Netflix
15. In A Committed Partnership With Spotify
16. In A Committed Partnership With Pinterest
17. In A Committed Partnership With Cupcakes
18. In A Relationship, So I Always Give Dating Advice To My Friends
19. In A Relationship, So I Always Get Asked For Dating Advice From My Friends And The Truth Is I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO TELL YOU, THIS ONE JUST WORKS FOR US OKAY
20. Pretending My Life Is Sex & The City
21. Admittedly Desperate (No, Really)
22. In The Friend Zone
23. Not Aware That I’m In The Friend Zone
24. Single Until Ryan Gosling Comes To His Senses (Substitute a fictional character for Ryan Gosling and you've got a deal) :)
25. In A Relationship That I Probably Should End, But I’m Lazy And Comfortable And Maybe I Just Don’t Want To, Okay, It’s Not Like I Need An Intervention Or Anything
26. I Want A Boyfriend/Girlfriend Who Will Fix All My Flaws
27. I’m Crazy! (In A Kooky/Fun/Zany Way! Yay!)
28. I’m Crazy! (No, Literally. Run Away!)
29. I’m A Nice Guy And That Frustrates Me Cause I Always Feel Like I Come In Last
30. Single But I Won’t Say That I’m Single Because Then You Will Set Me Up With All Your Weird Friends
31. In A Relationship With Someone and It Is Actually Great, No Really, So Please Stop Asking Me To Find Problems And Just Let Me Enjoy This!
32. SOMEBODY LOVE ME, PLEASE, EVEN IF YOU’RE KINDA AWKWARD, IT’S OKAY
33. Single And I Really Want To Be With Someone But I Have “Pride” And Will Lie and Pretend I’m Tough And Fine But Really I Am Sensitive, So So Sensitive
34. Not Really Looking For A Relationship (Just Someone To Share A Dog With)
35. Not Really Looking For A Relationship (But If You Want To Take Me To Brunch, I Will Always Say Yes)
36. I Care More About Celebrity Romances Than My Own
37. MY ONLY RELATIONSHIP IS WITH ~GiRLZ NiGHT!!!!~
38. Only If The Guy Has A Beard
39. Only If The Girl is Zooey Deschanel
40. Becoming A Nun Or Priest (For Real)
41. Becoming A Nun Or Priest (As An Ironic Joking Statement Because I’m Not Dating, LOL)
42. Everything Goes Out The Window After A Few Drinks
43. The Ted Mosby Of My Friends
44. The Liz Lemon Of My Friends
45. The Alexander Supertramp Of My Friends
46. The Penny Hartz Of My Friends
47. Why Is Everyone Getting Engaged Except Me?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!
48. Does Occasional Texting Count As A Relationship?
49. I WILL OVERANALYZE EVERY WORD OF EVERY TEXT MESSAGE YOU SEND ME, BEWARE (I like that it comes with a "bisclaimer")
50. Currently In A Long Distance Relationship, Please Be Gentle With Me
51. Engaged And No Wedding Date In Sight (Stop Pressuring Me!!!!)
52. Engaged And Counting Down The Days
53. Engaged And Considering Vegas
54. Beer, Babes, and Bros! Beer, Babes, and Bros! (What’s The Real World Like?)
55. Don’t Judge Me By My Facebook, I Am Much More Interesting In Person
56. Don’t Judge Me By My Facebook, I Am Much Less Interesting In Person
57. The Girl Who Retweets Every Bit Of Relationship Advice She Finds
58. The Guy Who Parents Love But Girls Just Seem To Care Less About
59. I’m Single And I Still Don’t Have Any Of This Relationship Stuff Figured Out
60. I’m In A Wonderful Relationship And I Still Don’t Have Any Of This Relationship Stuff Figured Out
61. I’m Married and I Have Like One Thing In The World Of Relationships Figured Out
62. Cats. Just Cats.

Enjoy!


~ Katie