Write or Die: March/June

It's (obviously) been a while since my last post. Our writing group was supposed to meet in March, with the writing prompt "Pot(ato)." But life got busy for everyone and so Write or Die has been on hiatus. As school/session*/wedding season has finally ended, we decided to meet up again. 

I couldn't come up with something clever to write about potatoes, so I aimed to keep it short and silly. I shan't inflict this story upon the group till Monday, but decided to post it now to ensure that I don't chicken out!  😆

I give you "The Tower of Tubers." 

A heavy sign bearing the words “The Tower of Tubers” swings slowly over the dark wooden door which leads into an equally dark hallway. Once inside, visitors are greeted, or rather growled at, by an ancient host who could easily pass for a hobbit or a leprechaun…or a short troll, for that matter. 

Grabbing a stack of menus, the waddling goblin deposits the appropriate number atop the scuffed and mostly clean surface of a rustic table. The red vinyl seats of the booth have seen better days, as have the dull cutlery. The astute patrons chuckle at the quote scrawled across the bottom of the menu -  “Po-tay-toes! Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew!” - before looking with a mix of interest and concern at the items listed: 

Mashed potatoes  

Baked potatoes 

Roasted potatoes

Hasselback potatoes

Scalloped potatoes

Fried potatoes 

Hashbrown potatoes

Potato latkes

Potato gnocchi 

Potato pancakes 

Potato casserole 

Potato skins 

Potato bites

Potato salad

Baked potato soup

Additional Ingredients: shredded beef, grilled chicken, bacon, cheese (cheddar, swiss or blue cheese), onions, garlic, chives, red bell peppers, asparagus, peas, lemon and sour cream.

Sauces: ranch, ketchup, olive oil, bbq

The concern only increases when they make it to the list of beverages:

Drinks: potato milk, purple potato latte, sweet potato smoothie, potato and carrot juice, and vodka

A restaurant solely dedicated to highlighting the merits of the humble potato seems odd at best. Surely it’s some kind of joke meant to bewilder first timers? But then a member of the party notices that the salt and pepper shakers on the table are potato shaped. As is the napkin holder. Further study draws their attention to the fact that all the photos on the wall above the booth feature historic works of art, such as The Mona Lisa, The birth of Venus and The Scream, each featuring potatoes in the place of the iconic focal points. 

The guests exchange glances, each contemplating whether or not they should leave. Not wanting to seem like party poopers prevents each from beginning such a discussion. Just as one person finally musters the gumption to say something, a waitress (who was shaped more like a leek than a potato) approaches. 

The moment of truth arrives. 

“Welcome to the Tower of Tubers. What kind of tater can I get you?”  

Oh good heavens. 😆 😐

~ Katie Q. 🐧

* Special session has finally been announced, so this is just a temporary work reprieve.