The room was nearly empty, just a few final boxes left stacked in the corner of the living room. Keira pulled her thick black hair back into a ponytail and made a final sweep of her apartment, picking up Sharon Kay Penman’s book “Here be Dragons”* off the end of her bed and slipping it into her purse.
“Gotta have something to read on the plane,” she said out loud to no one.
Keira was going to miss this place. She’d moved in two years ago when she first arrived in Seattle and it had suited her perfectly. Her west facing windows occasionally offered a glimpse of the bay and, while small, the kitchen was big enough to actually enjoy cooking. She appreciated the quirks and charm of the older building, such as the thick wood trim around the windows and doors, and the elbow-high telephone niche built into the wall.
Sadly it was not spacious enough for two, so after Mark proposed they decided to find a new place where they could begin their lives together. While she was excited for this next chapter, it had been tough not renewing her lease. After a couple of months of endless open houses, they finally found a cozy bungalow near his office and had just put down a deposit. While they waited for everything to finalize, Keira had been slowly moving her things into his garage, whittling down what was left in her apartment to just enough for her to survive until their wedding day.
“Tomorrow,” she thought as she locked the front door and carried her overnight bag down the two winding flights of stairs. “Tomorrow. Our wedding is tomorrow! Tomorrow we’ll be married.”
Tonight she was staying at a hotel with her maid of honor, Rose. Their friendship had been a little strained of late, due to Rose’s thinly veiled dislike of Mark. They’d had half conversations about him over the last two years, but had avoided discussing him outright since they both worried what it would do to their friendship. Keira hoped that post-wedding Rose would get fully on board with him being part of the family.
For better or worse matters between best friends too, right?
Tomorrow was going to be lovely. Keira had decided early on in the planning process that she wanted a simple wedding and that she was going to handle any last minute problems with grace. The flowers didn’t arrive on time? Not the end of the world. The caterer brought chicken instead of pork? They’re both white meats, so whatever. Something spilled on her dress? Ok, that one would be harder to deal with, but it would be fine. None of it was important in the grand scheme of things. She was marrying the man she loved and that’s all that mattered. If anything happened, she’d take a deep breath, smile and carry on.
***
“I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS” was screaming on repeat in her head.
When Keira heard the knock at the bride’s room door, she knew something was wrong. She’d always had the ability to sense when something bad was about to happen and she was rarely wrong...though at the moment she desperately wished this was one of those times.
“You’re...what do you mean you can’t go through with it?” she asked, barely above a whisper.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Keira” said the tuxedo’d man before her. At least she assumed he was wearing a tux. She couldn't take her eyes off his shoes.
“What happened? How...why now?” When he didn’t respond, she looked up and repeated, “Why...now, Mark?
Shame or guilt reddened his face as he stepped into the room. “It’s just too much. Forever. Till death do us part. I can’t. You know how indecisive I am. I don’t even know what I’ll want next week, let alone five, ten, fifty years from now.”
“As of yesterday you wanted to be in Ireland next week...on your honeymoon...with me,” she choked, tears beginning to fill her eyes.
“I know, I know. I’m so sorry,” he repeated, as he paced distraught across the small space.
Keira broke eye contact and could feel herself starting to implode, folding in on herself to keep from feeling what was happening. She was pulled out of the spiral by a thunk, followed by an “ow!” She looked up and realized Rose had thrown her bridal bouquet at Mark, hitting him in the head.
“I knew it!” Rose hurled at Keira, seeming to be almost as angry with her as with the would-have-been groom. “I knew he’d flake out on you!”
“Thank you so much. That’s super helpful right now.” Keira replied, glowering at her.
Keira turned back to Mark and asked, “So none of this occurred to you before? When you picked out my ring or when you proposed? Or while we were working on our wedding invitations?"
“I got caught up in the romance and excitement,” he offered, rubbing his head gingerly. “I love you and have wanted to move forward for such a long time that I didn’t stop to think about what it all really meant. The risks and responsibilities. The finality of it all.”
Keira just shook her head. “The finality of it all? Sounds like you’re talking about a jail sentence, instead of spending the rest of your life with your best friend.” Her hands flew to her face as she paled, another thought crossing her mind. “Oh god, the house!”
“That was my first call, to our realtor. She thinks she might be able to get back our deposit,” he replied reassuringly.
Keira looked at him in astonishment. “I’m sorry, you called our realtor before you came to tell me you didn’t want to marry me?”
“The house was one of the first things I thought of. I figured she could get that ball rolling, in case you couldn’t change my mind.”
“...excuse me? You come in here, tell me you can’t do this, while also thinking I could change your mind? What are you expecting, that I’ll beg you to marry me? And that if I’m not able to convince you otherwise then it’s MY FAULT we’re not getting married today?!” Keira asked, wiping away a stray tear as her voice slowly increased in volume.
Mark waved his hands defensively. “It’s just that...well, you’re always the one to help get me in the right headspace. I can talk to you about anything. Everything. I thought if anyone could change my mind, it would be you. And if not...then it’s really the best for both of us. You wouldn’t want to marry someone who isn’t sure they want to be with you, would you?”
Flabbergasted, Keira asked, “So now this is about what’s best for me? What would have been best is if you’d figured this out a long time ago! You’ve certainly had plenty of time. How long have we known each other? Eight years? Realizing this isn’t what you wanted before convincing me to move halfway across the country two years ago because you ‘couldn’t handle’ a long distance relationship would have been helpful. I don’t even like Seattle. The only thing here for me was you. I wanted you. I wanted us. I...I loved you, so I packed up everything and came.”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry for all of it. I never meant to hurt you,” Mark said, apologizing for the third time in as many minutes.
“The church...there’s a church full of people waiting for us,” Keira realized, a bit frantically.
Mark looked at her with pleading, puppy dog eyes.
“Seriously? You want me to go out there and tell all our family and friends that the wedding’s off? Since you’re the one who thinks it’s ‘for the best,’ shouldn’t that be your job?” Keira said, glaring at him.
As he continued to just stand there downcast, Keira shrugged in frustration.
“Fine. We all know how much you hate being the bad guy. Just know that you’ve now become the worst guy,” she said, slipping into her “something blue” shoes.
Rose moved to follow her, Keira waved her off. “Thanks, but I’ve got this.”
As she walked past him, Mark reached out to smooth a strand of black hair behind her ear. Keira leaned away, avoiding his advance. “Don’t touch me,” she breathed, looking over her shoulder at him as she reached the door. “You won’t ever touch me again.”
After walking out, Keira briefly paced in the hall, preparing herself for a speech she never thought she’d have to make. She then slowly walked down the hallway, trying to concentrate on the swish of her skirt on the stone floor, instead of hearing their first dance song in her head or picturing the cake and donut wall waiting for them at the reception.
She crossed the narthex, passing several people who looked quite bewildered to see the bride sans bridal party. She reached the door leading into the church and, grasping the handle, pulled...
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