The song is the post! The post is the song!

The title is funnier if you've ever seen Little Dogs on the Prairie. :)

I had Pandora on while I was getting ready for work the other morning and "Written all over my face" by Kris Allen came on. As I was listening to the lyrics, all I could think about was how if the singer and his significant other just knew about the 5 Love Languages they would have fewer relationship problems. I explain myself more below, since it will make more sense if you listen to the song and/or read the lyrics first.

"Written All Over My Face"

I always played you songs
To say what I never could
Other people say it better
Say it better than I would
But for every word left unsaid
I thought you understood

It was easier to kiss you
Than to tell you how I feel
Oh and I don't want to lose you
But you can't see that through your tears
You're saying that I hurt you
But I had no idea...

(I'm doing my best to make it
But you don't believe
Believe that I am)

Just cause you say it's so
Doesn't make it so
Singing I don't show
What I'm feeling for you
I'd rather shut my mouth
Than to spell it out
There's no doubt
When it's written all over my face

What you want me to say that I don't say?
What you want when it's written all over my face?
If you want we can talk about it all day
But what's to say when it's written all over my face?

You're not one of my boys
You can't get inside my mind
I'm not one of your girlfriends
Who's gonna see it from your side
What you lay on the table
Well I choose to keep inside

(I'm doing my best to make it
But you don't believe
Believe that I am)

Just cause you say it's so
Doesn't make it so
Singing I don't show
What I'm feeling for you
I'd rather shut my mouth
Than to spell it out
There's no doubt
When it's written all over my face

What you want me to say that I don't say?
What you want when it's written all over my face?
If you want we can talk about it all day
But what's to say when it's written all over my face?
When it's written all over my face
When it's written all over my face
When it's written all over my face

There's nothing wrong but communication
It's just a problem of our own creation
Sometimes love gets lost in translation

What you want me to say that I don't say?
What you want when it's written all over my face?
If you want we could talk about it all day
But what's to say when it's written all over my face?
All over my face
All over my face
When it's written all over my face
All over my face

There's nothing wrong but communication
It's just a problem of our own creation
Sometimes love gets lost in translation...

In case you are unfamiliar with the 5 Love Languages, your "love language" is how you feel love/appreciation from those around you, which consequentially affects how you act around or treat others. The website I used for this test describes it as "your emotional communication preference," which means more than just in a romantic context. While it certainly includes significant others, it also plays into your relationships with family and friends.

Below is a link to the website I used for the "love language test." It asks for a name and email address (so they can send you the results), but there is the option to "skip" and you'll still get the results at the end. They ask you 30 questions with two options per question...there were a couple where either answer would have worked for me, so I had to pick the best one and move on. It's not tough nor does it take too long...my only suggestion would be don't overthink it!

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

My Scores:
8 Physical Touch
8 Quality Time
6 Acts of Service

5 Receiving Gifts

3 Words of Affirmation

Quality Time and Physical Touch tied for the win...who'da thunk, right? :)  I admit to having a hard time with words of affirmation, specifically in saying "I love you." The nearest I can figure is that I place an inordinate amount of importance on those three little words and therefore don't bandy them about. But that's a whole different topic.

Back to the song. So, the singer seems to be a physical touch ("it's easier to kiss you than to tell you how I feel") kinda guy, while his significant other leans heavily "words of affirmation." Their miscommunication in expressing how they feel about each other is causing unintended hurt and strife in their relationship. He can't understand why she doesn't know how he feels about her, while she clearly is feeling unloved because she isn't perceiving his expressions of affection.

I just thought it was an interesting, semi-practical example on communication and how we express ourselves...and why understanding how you express and feel loved is important.

What is your primary love language(s)?

Do you have any examples of when you noticed differing styles/expressions causing problems? Or how figuring out the differences helped mend or strengthen a relationship?


~ Katie

P.S. Fun little anecdote - yesterday was mom and Matt's birthday. After dinner and opening presents, I went with Matt to get a drink at Jake's...a cigar bar. I felt a little hipster-y, but it was kind of fun overall. I like the smell of cigars, as long as the smoke isn't blowing in my face. I got a glass of scotch and at one point attempted to try Matt's cigar, though I was apparently too timid in my attempt 'cause it didn't really work, lol. But it was my first time in a cigar bar and semi-attempt at smoking (not something I'm really planning to try again). It also means I was up until about 2:30am (and got up at 6:45am), so this may not be as interesting as I think it is. So yeah...anecdote. :)