An open letter (as open as a blog read by 6 people can be)...

A friend of mine posted this pic (meme?) on Facebook and since I was disappointed to see it, I felt compelled to respond to it. I didn't want to start a war on his profile, so I sent him a private message, which I've included below.

(Fill in the blank),
I saw your post this morning and as a friend and someone who's opinion I care about, I wanted to share with you some reasons why I disagree with it. Since I don't want to start an internet fight on your Facebook wall, I though I'd shoot you a message.  

I have serious concerns about basing the use of bathrooms and other private locations (such as dressing and locker rooms) on something other than biology for personal safety reasons. I joke about women always getting the short end of the stick, but this is a serious example of it. I can tell you with 100% honesty that I am not worried about a transgender man raping me in a restroom. I am afraid of heterosexual predators taking advantage of the ability to use women's restrooms "no questions asked." Right now if man is in a women's restroom it's for one of two reasons - it was an honest mistake or with the intent to assault a woman. Deciding which of those two is the right answer is a split second decision a woman has to make whenever encountering a man in the restroom, locker room, etc. Adding a third option and making it such that if she questions a man using the facility she's being discriminatory will put women in harmful and dangerous situations. I've heard people say that if a man is in a restroom with "ill intent" then you can have him removed...the problem is that something bad has to happen first to have grounds to get him kicked out, again placing the burden on women to "prove" something is wrong before they can feel safe and secure.  

There has been a number of examples of this, the worst I've run across actually happened in Canada. The perpetrator was Christopher Hambrook and he was convicted in 2014 after claiming to be transgender and assaulting women in two different women's shelters. I included a link to the Toronto Sun article about it, in case you wanted to check it out. Another example is Jason Pomare in LA. He dressed up in women's clothing and set up cameras in a women's bathroom, recording hours of footage. In 2011 a registered sex offender was arrested after entering a women's locker room, using the hot tub and wandering around an aquatic center dressed as woman and talking to a group of children (a conviction of child sexual abuse is what got him on the registry). I included a link to that one too. These are just three examples and while they were all ultimately caught, it wasn't until afterwards...whereas with the first situation at the very least it could have been prevented if a biological male had not been allowed in a women's shelter.  

http://www.torontosun.com/2014/02/26/predator-who-claimed-to-be-transgender-declared-dangerous-offender   

http://www.nbc-2.com/story/15044784/2011/07/07/sex-offender-apprehended-in-womens-locker-room 

I just think changing biological sex based policies puts women in unnecessary danger and there is not a substantial enough reason to do so. With the increase in sexual assault of women (estimates being that 1 in 5 women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime), I think it's irresponsible to change policy that has definite potential of increasing those risks. 

I hope you don't mind my sharing my thoughts and concerns with you.

A more recent example that I ran across since sending the message happened in Seattle, where a man in board shorts and in no way physically identifying as a woman undressed in a women's locker room at a pool. When women became concerned about his presence, he cited the new state rule regarding gender identity. No one was arrested, even after he returned a second time while young girls were changing for swin practice. The scariest part was:

"As far as policy to protect everyone, Seattle Parks spokesman David Takami says they're still working on the issue. Right now, there's no specific protocol for how someone should demonstrate their gender in order to access a bathroom.  Employees just rely on verbal identification or physical appearance, and this man offered neither."

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2016/02/17/transgender-rule-washington-state-man-undresses-locker-room/80501904/

...all evidence points to this being a fully functional, gender dysphoria-less male who wanted to use the women's locker room. And they can't keep him from using it because of the new gender identity policy, since all he has to do is claim the women's locker conforms with his gender identity. So creepy.

It is disheartening (to say the least) to see how quickly these policies are being pushed on the general public and how little compromise is being tolerated. What's wrong with establishing single stall unisex bathroom, similar to family restrooms? A Kroger's Grocery Store* in Georgia designed exactly that...which seems like a reasonable accommodation and a way to make everyone comfortable and safe. I realize not every business has room to add an additional bathroom, but plenty of places do...such as Target.

I am very disappointed they have decided to place being PC over women's safety...which is why I'm signing the Target Boycott and closing my Target Credit Card tonight. Anyone who knows me realizes what a sacrifice that is for me. I frequently shop at Target for everything from allergy meds, clothes, toiletries to food and furniture. My hope is that since over 500,000 people have already signed the boycott in the first week, it will make Target reconsider and look into creating a unisex restroom like Kroger's. I would encourage you to consider doing the same...the more people who express their displeasure, the more likely it will make a difference.

I would ask that any comments made on this subject in general or the Target situation specifically be respectful. It helps no one to be hateful and angry.

Thanks and have a great week!


~ Katie


* Kroger's bathroom sign read:

We have a UNISEX bathroom because sometimes gender specific toilets put others into uncomfortable situations. And since we have a lot of friends coming to see us, we want provide a place for our friends who are:

• Dads with daughters

• Moms with sons

• Parents with disabled children

• Those in the LGBTQ community

• Adults with aging parents who may be mentally or physically disabled

THANK YOU for helping us to provide a safe environment for EVERYONE!