"10 Words That May Not Mean What You Think They Mean"

I must admit to stealing another blogger's post again. Same site, different writer. What can I say, HelloGiggles.com posts a lot of really funny stuff!


Today's theft is from Tyler Vendetti, another frequent contributor to HelloGiggles (with the best mobster/mafia last name ever!). She posts a lot of fun articles, such as 10 Classic Literature Terms That Are No Longer Used (For the Most Part) (I think I knew 7/10 of them) and Modern Slang Terms That Really, Really Need To Be Discontinued...but today I'm combining my favorite examples from 10 Words That You've Probably Been Misusing and 10 More Words That You've Probably Been Misusing. She noted in the second post that it could also be called "10 Words That May Not Mean What You Think They Mean" (hence the great meme), so I figured I'd plagiarize that title as well. And like last time, if I find myself unable to resist making a witty contribute to her commentary, it shall be highlighted.



1) Travesty
What you may think it means: a tragedy, an unfortunate event
What it actually means: a mockery; a parody
This one, I’ll admit, is my own personal error. For the longest time, I equated travesty with tragedy, mostly because in passing, they sound like the same word. It’s stupid, I know, but if you knew how many times I confused fetal position with beetle position, you wouldn’t be laughing. It’s a serious problem.
Dang it...I've used this one incorrectly for years! But I'm with Tyler...my defense consists in the two words sounding similar enough that it seems reasonable to assume that they mean about the same thing. And I thought of a personal antidote like her fetal-beetle example: when I was a little kid (maybe 5 or 6?) I thought Alzheimer's Disease was "Old Timers Disease." Is it bad that I still find such an innocent misunderstanding really funny?



2) Ironic
What you may think it means: a funny coincidence
What it actually means: contrary to what you might expect
It’s not ironic that you bumped into a talking turtle in a sweater vest right after you told your friend how cool it would be to bump into a talking turtle in a sweater vest. It’s a coincidence, and believe it or not, those two words are not related. Also, you should probably lay off the drugs because I’m pretty sure animals shouldn’t be talking.
Haha...a talking turtle. :)  I've always been paranoid about misusing this word, so I generally avoid it like the plague. I do think it is probably one of the most commonly misused words in the English language...and I will always wonder if the Alanis Morissette song "Ironic" was just a giant mistake or if the reason it's ironic is because all the examples she uses aren't really ironic, which makes the song ironic since you would expect her to use the right examples for irony in a song called "Ironic"!


3) Peruse
What you may think it means: to skim or glance over something
What it actually means: to review something carefully/in-depth
How this definition got completely turned on its head, I’ll never know, but I’ll be sure never to say “I’m going to go peruse my math textbook” ever again, just in case someone overhears and tries to hold me to it under the real meaning.
This is another one I've always gotten wrong! Does this one count as being ironic? :)


4) Enormity
What you may think it means: enormousness
What it actually means: extreme evil
I don’t know where the “extreme evil” thing came from (probably the Devil) but enormity makes more sense as enormousness in my mind.
I checked with my dear friend Dictionary.com for this one because I thought "Surely not! Everyone knows that Enormity means that something is gigantically humongous! Right?!" Wrong...ish. It's the third possibility under the definition of Enormity, who's definition is: a.) outrageous or heinous character; atrociousness; b.) something outrageous or heinous, as an offense; and c.) greatness of size, scope, extent, or influence; immensity. Also, it would seem that "enormousness" is a real word. I did not know that.


5) Forego
What you may think it means: to bypass
What it actually means: to go before
This one is a matter of spelling. To forego does not mean “to opt out of” (as in, “I think I’ll forego eating dinner with your creepy neighbor”). Rather, it means “to precede in place or time” (as in, “I just watched Jaws for the first time and I’ve been watching Shark Week specials all day. For the foregoing reasons, I have decided not to swim with you at the beach today”). The word you’re looking for is forgo and it’s a variant of forego.
This one's good to know in a "there, their and they're" kind of way. I'm sure I've used the wrong forego/forgo before.



6) Literally
What you may think it means: actually
What it actually means: in a literal manner
I was going to leave this word out because you can probably find someone complaining about “literally” on any word-related message board on the Internet right now but many people suggested that I include it, so here we are. I’m not going to tell you to stop saying, “My mind has literally been blown,” because “literally” is my favorite word to misuse, especially when you say it like “li-tra-lee,” because it reminds me of British people, so carry on.
I knowingly misuse "literally" from time to time...I must admit also to it's excessive overuse being one of my pet peeves. Like Chris Traeger (played by Rob Lowe) in Parks and Recreation, who literally uses "literally" all the time in conversation. I'm pretty sure if I was around him a lot in real life, I'd literally throw something at him every time he said "literally."


7) Fortuitous
What you may think it means: lucky
What it actually means: occurring by chance
In the pilot episode of Friends, Ross admits that he wants to be married again and Rachel, dressed in a wedding gown, stumbles into the coffee shop. This is an example of fortuitous timing. Fortuitous situations are sometimes lucky, but not always, which explains how these two definitions are often confused.
I think I use this one correctly, but I can understand the misconception. Fortuitous...fortunate...rolling over into lucky. Makes sense.


8) Alas
What you may think it means: finally
What it actually means: an expression of grief, pity, or concern
The next time you say, “Alas! I have completed my homework,” ask yourself: are you upset about this fact? If the answer is no, choose a different word. Because it is not a synonym for “finally.”
Extensive reading of classical literature helps prevents the misuse of "alas." Never have I come across someone exclaiming, "Alas, fair love, thou art arrived!" It's more like "Alas, fair love, thou art dead!" 


9) Unique
What you may think it means: unusual
What it actually means: one of a kind
If unique were a scent, it would probably be “skunk” or “grandma’s perfume” because according to the dictionary, it is, by nature, such a strong word, it does not need any adverbs to accompany it. (A child can be unique, not very unique.)
The misuse of unique is one of my dad's biggest pet peeves. "Something can't be very unique, because unique means only one, so 'very' is redundant." You can't have two of the same thing and they both be unique.


10) Inconceivable
What you may think it means: too unlikely/undesirable to be considered a possibility
What it actually means: not capable of being imagined or grasped mentally
The word that started it all. Something is inconceivable if you cannot wrap your mind around it. Someone once asked me: What if every thought that has ever been imagined by humans is represented by a particle of sand? Would there be enough? And while I know the answer is no, both concepts are still difficult to grasp in my mind. That’s inconceivable.
Inconceivable! :D

~ Katie